Monday, January 7, 2008
FOX FOOTBALL: Seek and Destroy
Although technically not an advertisement, the robot that Fox has used for coming in and out of commercials during football games has outstayed its welcome. What is that thing anyways? Is it a robot, and if so, is it a human-friendly robot like C3-PO or does it destroy human life like the Terminator? Is it a Transformer, and if so, what does it change into? For Halloween, it had a jack-o-lantern as a head, but that doesn't really count as a Transformer. Having interchangeable body parts is more like a Mr. Potato Head, although this robot is clearly not organic. Regardless of its classification, it sucks, and it needs to be destroyed.
During the promo spot, the robot does the same annoying warm-up routine every time. It jumps up and down and points at the crowd to get psyched up for what we can only assume will be a robot football game. He pumps his knees so he doesn't pull his mechanical groin on a "go" route. Here are some questions: Why does the robot need to get psyched up for this robot football game? Shouldn't it be programmed to perform at peak operating levels at all times? Instead of pumping his knees, wouldn't some motor oil or WD-40 be more effective in preventing injury?
His routine doesn't matter; it just needs to end. Maybe if we can form a team of other lame, outdated robots to seek out and destroy this Fox robot, we will be free from its warm-up sessions fifteen times a game. If anyone knows how to get a hold of Data, Vicki, the W.O.P.R., a Cylon, Rosie, Twiki, Johnny-Five, or RoboCop, I think we could put an end to this. Let me know.